Day 5/5

Tomorrow.

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Day 3/5 cleaning

Sort out front room.

Sort out books

I can’t discard research material until I submit final thesis or know I’m near the end.

Yawn

Must tape up house. Couldn’t find a decent tradesman during the boom so left crappy job as it was. Now it’s become a bigger job but I can’t find someone to fix it.

I didn’t marry a mr fix it.

Day +2 post submission of draft

I’ve had a couple of days off and I know I did the right thing sending it off to my supervisor even if it wasn’t a 100% complete draft. It was 95%. Why why did I rewrite so much? I’m going to catch up with a couple of friends who are also writing their thesis without a sense of being part of a community.

I will see what happens after I submit this but right now I am not sure what to do next. I think it’s a pass fail thesis.

Who knows what the next step is. I kind of had a plan 8 years ago, and was fine just doing little jobs here and there whilst pursuing that goal, but a lot has happened in the past 8 years. Life threatening illness that lasted for 3-4 years kind of makes it hard to care about longer term goals.

Still I am glad I plodded along with this project. It’s going to feel good when I graduate.

– 6 hours

If only I hadn’t miscalculated the days. If only I had one day more…

But I’m only working until Santa gets here. I’ll submit in whatever shape it takes in six hours.

I’ll have rewrites after that too but won’t be that bad. All but one chapter has been seen a few times but at least one supervisor.

I took on board the suggestions by both supervisors and fashioned what I have now out of it.

It isn’t the final word on anything. I need to just get it done.

Done

Done

Cup of tea?

Merry Christmas to anyone who stumbles across this.

Thoughts I am not allowing into my brain

1) sing star downloads for Christmas

2) job losses etc

3) any other intrusive thoughts

Ok I can do this

Day -2

I only have two days left.

Panic.

I thought I had three because of this blog and forgot that this blog is on American time!!!

I am not going to spend more time on Chapter 4. It’s fine. I’m moving onto Chapter 5. Tying it all together. What am I saying? Who knows really. My eyes are blurry, I’m overthinking things. Until I realised I only had two days left, I was going to take today off because I had to do mom snd family stuff until 3pm.

Oh to be a cat!

If you are reading this and you know me in person, I will emerge soon. I usually respond to texts and messages but haven’t been able to.

I mean it’s still part time as I have a life away from being a scholar. Now I know why full time scholars have a glazed look and seem to be on a different planet. I’m only part time and I am already experiencing that.

My supervisor says I’m so deeply immersed in what I do I think what I’m saying is stating the obvious, but it’s not.

I had a look at one section and realise why second supervisor was so confused. I couldn’t remember what I was trying to capture in some cool looking, but irrelevant graphic. I think I was trying to capture my research approach and using vector graphics illustrate the hermeneutic phenomenological approach I used in this research. However, the graphics don’t actually do that so I am ditching it and will just refer readers to an article about research methods. It’s not a PhD. I don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

My strength is also my weakness. I can generate original thought but when I do too much of it, the writing loses focus. Tangential thoughts are not useful for this type of writing.

If this research didn’t have some relevance to my kid, and have some application to my work – do I still have work? What is it that I do really??I probably wouldn’t have stuck with it. I don’t have time to navel gaze these days.

I’m sure I have more mid-life thoughts – midlife is an optimistic term… no I cannot have more new ideas. I have to do it and move on.

After I submit I can blog as much as I want about being middle aged etc etc and whine about my first world issues.

But darn it.

Enough rambling.

Supper, sleep and write.

I know now why in the past, only monks had time to write.