Day -16 panic panic


So tomorrow I have to just get up early and focus for a few hours.

I have an abstract kinda.

Now I have to write a preface to orientate the reader to my non-traditional thesis format.

I am going to get an early night so I can get an early start.

I have to silence the voice that asks why the hell are you doing this? Or the one that says, you are wasting your time on earth working on this! Or why? Why did you not have the courage, sense or confidence to do [insert something I haven’t thought of doing until a second ago].

The fact is I am at this point in my life, at this exact location and the path I chose cannot be changed.

I have 16 days to submit this thing. I also have to plan Christmas.

I am not going to make major structural changes. I can’t.

I’ve wasted four days flaffing around with the bloody formatting and appendices. I’m like Chidi from The Good Place.

Kid is on holidays. Kid has play dates.

I gotto just focus on this project. Get it done and then I can have the space to think. I’ve started decluttering rooms in time to host kids and friends over Christmas, but I don’t have enough shelves etc. I have no time to source any. I can see how my clutter issue can be easily resolved by one ikea billy shelf and an old expedit shelf.

It may be that I just donate a lot of the books I own. I own too much stuff. It’s just stuff. It’s not a legacy. It’s not an investment. It’s a waste of time and space. When you spring clean you realise how much money you’ve spent on junk.

The plan is keep writing and just finish it!

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