Day -38

Oh no! Flu season. It is a bad one this year. If you are reading this in the northern hemisphere, get flu vaxed! 

Hubby hasn’t been bed ridden but he’s been at home and I have been playing nurse. Before you start giggling, it’s been from a distance as I cannot afford to get sick. 

It has meant I’ve lost a couple of days of writing.

I spent today flaked out as I needed a break after three manic days of trying to do it all. Getting feedback for my last chapter made me relax more. I am indeed on the right track.

Checking in here I can see that if I work through the weekend and first week of school hols, I am still on track! I won’t have much of an opportunity in the second week as hubby is at work.

I feel quite privileged to have a teacher hubby. I used to think darn it, if hubby were more high power and high earning maybe I don’t have to feel that constant anxiety about whatever it is that our overly competitive and materialistic society makes us feel anxious about. 

We live quite simply and he job is low stress. Although it’s more stressful since his workplace sacked all the admin and reduced everyone’s hours. Nonetheless, I am not homeless, and despite all the doom and gloom I feel confident of finding some work after I finish this thesis. 

I’ve been reading about inattentive ADHD. I am now convinced I had it as a kid and still have it. I believe it is why I haven’t been very successful at sticking to one line of work /discipline and have always been a bit of an underachiever. 

Eg even now as I type I am thinking about other things and my mind has raced ahead. I’ve never had the executive skills that one requires at school. Never really kept notes nor had filing systems etc. Held it all in my head which is fine at lower levels of whatever it is. 

At the same time, if I wasn’t ADHD maybe I wouldn’t have seen so much of the world and had so many different experiences. Nor would I have friends from diverse backgrounds. Apparently impulsivity is how it often manifests in girls. 

I think in middle age, it’s not a bad thing to have. I’ve developed coping strategies and am less scattered. Having a tidy house is important or else I can’t think. 

I probably should do a tidy up of my files today so I can write first thing tomorrow.

At the moment I have papers strewn over the floor.

Being a mother has forced me to be more organised. I have picked up many CEO skills in my decade as a mother. 

See I’m going off track again!

I must finish messaging a friend some papers and then figure out dinner before tidying my desk/floor. I have papers all over the floor too. Best get to it.

I really can’t be bothered cooking! We have leftovers!

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