I’ve decided not to count down to submission until the Rusty Orchestra is over. So it’s about midday and I’ve spent about half an hour running through the piece I find the most challenging – Star Wars. I’ve accepted I’m not going to get every note in the Tchaikovsky if we play at speed. I’ve also decided that it’s okay to be mediocre and let the others carry me. This is way more low stakes and in the name of fun. So I’m no longer anxious about that. I do however need to find some clothes to wear for the performance. I’ll probably try to do that tomorrow or after pick up today.
As for my thesis, I will have to patch together something today. Probably after I’ve had a good meal. I’ve got a mini roast in the oven. My plans to write solidly for three hours this morning were thwarted by trying to find bits and pieces to put together some costumes for my kid’s drama production. Yes we are a very arty family, except when I say “put together” it’s literal. I don’t sew so I have to find creative ways around making medieval costumes. Fortunately, one of his characters is a monk = 1.2metre cord + 1.4m brown cotton sheet.
I’ve set myself the task of writing the intro to my dissertation this morning but I need food in my belly. I’m struggling to type this blog entry.
I was thinking this morning how I really need to go travel to a foreign land. The thing is however, to quote Thomas Friedman, “the world is flat”. I’d love nothing more than to go somewhere where I can’t speak the language and just be. I think that’s my optimum environment. However, I can’t just do it because I have responsibilities now and can’t do things like quit my job and blow my housing deposit on a whim. I don’t have a job to quit, but you know what I mean. Dropping hours at work to give myself more time to finish off projects that are meaningful to me is the middle age version of what I used to do. If I can’t physically I can travel in my mind.
I’ve been navel gazing for too long this morning. I’m going to have to fit in another 2 hours of practice today.
It felt really good to be able to breeze through some passages.
Now I understand why some of the really mediocre players from high school continued. There is so much pleasure derived from noticeable improvement. When expectations are low there is less pressure. My kid had a teacher who was expecting him to get As all the time for piano. We left her when we heard he explain how she had lower expectations of another student and it was fine for that student to get Bs or even Cs. The non-A students have the freedom to grow. The As ones don’t. It’s all or nothing. There’s that quote about dancing as if no one is watching, but everyone is watching. They watch more now than they used to in the high stakes testing environment at school. So the quote should be modified to,
Dance and who gives a shit that everyone is watching. – Rusty Woman
with the caveat – only take this advice if you are financially independent as your boss/future boss could be watching. 🙂
I think my roast is done. Even if it’s not I need to eat before I pass out.
I might watch a bit of Mozart in the Jungle over lunch to get into the right frame of mind.