Arghhh and just like that there are only 4 days left. If I were at the stage I’m at today two months ago I’d be feeling more confident about this. I mean I can probably get by and I’m pretty sure the professional next to me will see the sense of fun in the event.
I haven’t had a chance to practice much because of life: parenting and work mainly. The whole family has had the seasonal winter cold/flu. There’s a lot going on at the moment and I’m sure same time next week I will change this blog’s focus to the countdown to submission…..So close, yet so far. I’m looking at a chapter I’ve printed out that needs extensive edits. Blerghhhhhhh….
Had I gone down the music path perhaps my life would have been narrower and my ears deafer. I’m finding it all rewarding because I couldn’t play a tune when I first started this blog, but if I hadn’t taken a 25 year break and didn’t see this as a diversion from thesis writing, would I enjoy it as much? [Cue: That 90s Aqua song that featured in Gwyneth Goop Paltrow’s “Sliding Doors”….If only I could turn back time……]
The thing is since I strayed off the path 25 years ago I’ve never had a thing that’s felt as familiar as music. Being a musician was central to my identity up until I went to university to study something else. I look back now as a 40 year old and can see things for what they were and I’m okay with the path taken [even though it was more a meandering through the woods and stumbling across that path].
I really hate this chapter I’ve written but I just want to submit so I’m not going to trash it. I’m going to edit it so it fits with the project. I’m not sure if I have a chance to update this blog before the performance. The next month is intense.