I got an email today telling me that I’ve been accepted into WASO’s Rusty Orchestra.

I was so excited until I saw one of the pieces we have to play. Then it was oh …@&&) why did I apply?

Back story:

In the 1980s I was a violin playing Chinese kid. One of the ones with a bowl haircut  and really thick glasses. I had potential and was relatively advanced for my age. I went to high school on a music scholarship and was part of school and state ensembles. Then I burnt out and vowed never to play again.

Yet every 8 years or so,  I have attempted to pick it up again with the intention of joining a group. I have however, never gotten very far for one reason or another. Work, distance, time…
At 40 I thought, geeze it’s now or never.  I heard about WASO’s Rusty Orchestra, applied and got in – I think they based their decision on my past glories and sob story.  I guess they  wanted rusty players. That’s me! I’m hell rusty! I only applied when I found out some people who can only play one out of four notes get into the orchestra.

But now I am thinking perhaps I should have eased my way back into playing.

Not only am I 40 and haven’t practiced daily since the 90s, I’m partially deaf, lost my perfect pitch, have peripheral neuropathy and have RSI from keyboard (computer) work. Oh and when I play, it’s nothing too taxing.

At 16 I would have been fine with this piece, but at 40?

When I look at the score it’s like seeing an old friend I kinda remember who  turns out to be someone else upon a close up look.

Oh if my 16 year old self could see me now.  At school my thing was skipping orchestra rehearsals at every opportunity. I never practiced and pretty much coasted before I threw in the towel. I did however, always enjoy playing in WAYO.
At 40, I am having a mid life crisis. Everyone my age seems to be playing out the “sliding doors” scenario. Is this really what I’m meant to be doing? What if as a younger person I hadn’t XYZ. At 40, it seems as if this is our last chance to take another turn in the road. For me it’s the question of hey I wonder what my life would have been like had I not burnt out and quit?

I think it will be fun to do this. However, I’m panicking and hoping that they really want Rusty players.

I remember I used to play alongside people in school Orchestra who I thought were mediocre. Some of them went onto having music careers. Oh how the irony. Oh karma. Oh joy.

I’m in the middle of juggling many things, but I will try to update this blog semi regularly.

I’ll try to make this blog look pretty when I have time.

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